30 weeks!!

Just one of the cute 3D pics from today!!

Well, time is really starting to fly now. I am already 30weeks along. I should have the date of my scheduled c-section soon. I went to the doctor today, and everything is going great! I only gained 2lbs in the last 5 weeks...which is a big deal to me since I usually start packing it on towards the end! My weight gain is 20lbs total, which isn't too bad. My blood pressure has still been great, which is a huge relief for me, because of all the problems I had with Emma. His heart rate was measuring at 136BPM. My uterus was measuring at 31cm, which is ok. The doctor guesstimated his weight to be around 3lbs.
We had our 3D ultrasound re-do today. Yes, re-do. Saturday was our appointment and he had his back to us the entire time! Luckily they let us come back today, and he was in a better position. He is so cute already! I was surprised that he already has chubby cheeks, and he looks a lot like Emma.

24 Weeks...

Well, I can't believe I am already 24 weeks pregnant! Time is really starting to fly by...and I just hope it continues this way. Of course, there still is so much left to do and buy, but I'm getting so excited to meet this little guy! I am now finishing up my 2nd trimester, and life is going pretty good. Physically though, this pregnancy is already starting to take it's toll. I am only in my 6th month, and yet I feel like I am about 8 months. My back hurts, my hips ache, and I can only do about 30 minutes of shopping before I need to sit down and take a break. I am having horrible heartburn already, and I'm starting to worry a little bit about how I am going to make it through the 3rd trimester. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to complain, even with all these uncomfortable side effects, I LOVE being pregnant!! Mostly, I'm a little shocked to be so uncomfortable already. I'm not sure if it's just this particular pregnancy, or if it's because it is my 4th and my body has been through this so many times. But either way, I feel as big as a house already, and still have a ton of growing left to do!
Speaking of growing, I am now up 15lbs. Yikes! Although that is exactly as much I am supposed to gain at this point, because I already started out a little overweight, I was hoping to hardly gain anything. Of course, I knew that wasn't going to happen. But, I am gaining it very slow and steady, and hoping it will continue this way. I weigh myself just about every 2 or 3 days to stay on track, so I don't go off course too much. In my other pregnancies, I didn't start gaining anything until this time, and then gained it all in the last trimester(about 30lbs with the last two, 40lbs with the first). I am hoping that I still won't gain a ton in the last trimester on top of what I have already gained!! I'm not worried though. I need to just enjoy it, because once I have the baby, I will be working my butt off getting back into shape. With turning 30 around the corner, looking good and being healthy have become more of a priority that ever. I'm going to have two small children to run after, I better be ready!
As the reality that we will finally be having another baby sets in, so have some emotions that I haven't felt in a while. A part of this still feels to good to be true, and I guess that is to be expected considering what I have been through. I have come close to bursting into tears while on the Stork Tour of the hospital, and I actually shed a few while Josh and I were registering for my baby shower. I just feel so unbelievably blessed, that I don't even know what to do with myself! I already love this boy so very much, and feel such a strong connection to him. He is my miracle baby. He is the baby I never thought I would have. I just can not wait to hold him in my arms! Emma is also starting to feel a little bond with him. She is always coming over to my belly and telling him hi and that she loves him and can't wait to meet him. She will kiss and hug my belly. It is just so cute. I honestly feel that this was the baby I was meant to have, and at this time. It just feels so right.
Well, Kellen, is becoming very active, and now Josh and the kids can feel him kicking too! It is so reassuring to feel him moving all the time, and let's me know that he is doing good. I had wanted to rent a fetal doppler in the beginning, so I could check his heartbeat every day and lessen my worries about miscarrying again, but now, I'm glad that I didn't. Especially after learning I had an anterior placenta, which is why event the doctor had a hard time finding it at 14weeks. I would have made myself worry for nothing. I also have finally decided on where(and how) to have this baby!! It is such a huge relief since I have been going over this ever since I was 8weeks along and found out i couldn't do a VBAC at the hospital where I had Emma. So, after touring the other hospital, and praying about it night after night, I decided to just go ahead with a repeat c-section. I know some people will be disappointed with my decision since a vaginal delivery is so much better, but I know I am making the right decision for me. If I could be guaranteed a vaginal, that would be a different story. But as I saw with Emma's delivery, there is no guarantee when it comes to the labor process! I just am not willing to risk needing a c-section anyways and not being in my hospital of choice. I am nervous about recovering from surgery while taking care of a newborn and almost 4 year old, but I know I can do it. I will family to help, and Josh will be home for a few days. I wish he could take more off, but I know that there are still bills to pay!
So, while this pregnancy might be my most uncomfortable yet, I wouldn't change it for anything. I have never loved, or appreciated being pregnant so much in my entire life! I am going to thoroughly enjoy these last few months, even if I'm in pain and bedridden, because are the very last few months I will ever be pregnant again.

Halfway!!

Here is a picture of our baby boy at 20weeks1day!
Well, I am now officially halfway through this pregnancy! Unofficially, more than halfway(I have never gone past 38weeks). I am 20weeks4days today, and so relieved that everything is going so well. I had my Level 2 ultrasound on Monday, and it looks like we are definitely having a boy! There is no doubt about it! He also is very active, and looks absolutely perfect! I am so happy. All my genetic tests also came back normal. So, now I feel like I can really enjoy the remainder of this pregnancy. I have also gained 10lbs so far, which isn't too bad, but I'm hoping(yeah, right) to only gain about 10lbs more the rest of the pregnancy. We will see about that. As long as I don't gain more than 30lbs total throughout the entire pregnancy, I think I'll be ok. That's about how much I gained with both Austin and Emma, and I gained 40lbs with Kaylee because I was a little underweight when I got pregnant. I basically just try to eat healthy throughout the pregnancy and just let my body gain whatever it's meant to. Luckily, it usually doesn't end up being more than 30lbs.
But, today I'm having a bit of a name dilemma. Why is naming a baby so hard? We pretty much had decided on the name Kellan, but now, I'm not sure. That is the only name we can agree on, so that's a plus. And we both seem to like it. Most people do...although a lot of people just say "that's different" or something like that. Not that I really care what other people think, or anything. I just don't want my child to be teased in school. Although there a lot more strange and unique names out there! I do like the fact that isn't too common, and we really love the meaning. It's Irish and means "mighty warrior". We are also thinking that if we do stick to that name about changing the spelling to Kellen. And it seems most of our family like this spelling better also. So, most likely it will be Kellen, but I guess we're still leaving it open. I just don't know. I guess, we still have 4 more months to really decided.

Well, after months of not being able to agree on any baby names, and starting to worry that this kid was never going to have a name, I think we have finally decided on one!! We will(most likely) be naming our son, Kellan(or Kellen...we can't decide). It is of Celtic origin and means "mighty warrior". So far, our family seems to like it, and I like the fact that isn't too common, but doesn't sound too strange either. I wasn't too fond of the fact that I found out that Emma was the most popular name of 2008. What the heck? I don't know any little girls named Emma, and that is why I named her that. Oh well. I just hope when she goes to school there isn't like 10 other Emma's in her class! Anyways, I am so relieved that we have a name for this baby! I was having dreams that this baby was nameless well into it's first year of life! Now, I just can't wait to meet this little guy and hold my son in my arms!

A few pics...

OUR LITTLE BUTTERBEAN!!
He is using the placenta as a pillow! It's the fuzziness to the left. He also looks like he's smiling!

He is trying to suck his thumb


It's a BOY!! A between the legs shot!



For the rest of the pics youc an check out my Facebook page

Its a.....

BOY!!!!!! That's right! We found out today during a 3D ultrasound that we are indeed having a boy! As you might guess, Josh and I both over the moon and so unbelievably happy. I can not believe how blessed I am feeling. And once again...I was right at predicting the gender!! I have been right 4 out of 4 times. I am pretty proud of myself, thank you. So, the final count is GIRLS:2 BOYS:2. How great is that?
This was my first 3D ultrasound, and it was incredible! Although our little boy is pretty stubborn and mellow, and didn't want to put on much of a "show" for us. He moved a little bit. But pretty much just chilled out a little bit and apparently is using the placenta as a pillow! Unfortunately that caused a lot of the pictures to make his face look a little distorted and fuzzy, but it was cute nonetheless. He also kept trying to suck his thumb. It was amazing.
We go back for another at 30 weeks, and I can't wait to see the difference! We are bringing all the family along, too. But, we are so thrilled that this little boy will be completing our family!! When I get a chance, I'll try to post a few of the pics!

17 weeks!!

So, I can't believe that I have almost made it to just about the middle of my pregnancy. Time is actually starting to fly by...just a little bit. The first trimester dragged as I waited anxiously from ultrasound to ultrasound to make sure that my baby was still alive and growing properly. Now, I am about 17 weeks and everything is going just as it should be. Oddly enough for being a 'high risk pregnancy', this is the most "normal" pregnancy I have ever had with Josh. When I was pregnant with Emma I had a few episodes of pretty significant bleeding before being diagnosed with placenta previa, and then I was put on bedrest. Later on in the pregnancy my blood pressure increased, which of course is why I was induced at 37 weeks pregnant. Now, with this one, so far no bleeding episodes, my placenta is in a normal place, although it's still a little too early to tell if my blood pressure will be high again... so far, so good. My morning sickness is still lingering, but getting much better. I am no longer throwing up every day, but still have some days when I do, and still have lots of bouts of queasiness. But, it's getter better, so I'm hoping it will go away soon.
I'm trying really hard not to worry so much, but I can't really help it. With each passing week, a part of my fear goes away, but seems to just get replaced again. As the fear of another miscarriage starts to dwindle, I am also reminded of the fact that if something else were to go wrong, I might be even more devastated since the further along I get, the more attached to this baby I am. I already love this little guy(or girl) so much, that I don't even know what to with myself! Luckily, I am a woman of faith, and I have faith that this baby is meant to be, and everything will just be fine. But anyone who has ever been pregnant after a loss knows that the fear will never completely go away until that baby is safe in your arms. I'm hoping that within the next few weeks I will start to feel more fetal movement and that will help put my mind at ease. At this point, I have felt a few little nudges, but nothing consistent. I have a feeling the baby is turned inward and that is why I don't feel a lot of the movements. Once I can feel the baby moving on a daily basis, then I will be reassured every single day that the baby is still doing good. Right now it's hard because my last appointment was at 14 weeks, and I don't have another one until 20 weeks!!! The waiting makes me crazy!
It's a little hard to believe that this baby will be here in about 5 months!! After years of waiting, wishing, and hoping(and lots and lots of praying, of course)....only 5 more months to go. My mom did take me shopping this week and we bought a changing table. It's a little surreal to see it in the baby's room. I've been wanting another baby for soooooo long, that it seems very strange to actually be able to start preparing for it. Seriously, I started bugging Josh to have another one when Emma was only 9 months old! So, for about 3 years, my mind has been consumed with the wanting for another child. And now finally...it's happening! I get so overwhelmed with emotion when I really think about that. My mom and I were at lunch the other day, and I started crying! In the middle of Fresh Choice, tears of happiness were running down my face, and I felt like a total goofball. I just feel so blessed, that I am worried this is all a dream that I am going to wake out of. But as my belly swells, and I am reminded that it is real. God has truly blessed me, and I really hope He knows how appreciative I am(of course He does). After all the pain and heartbreak that I have experienced over that last 10 years, I never would have thought I could end up this happy. God sure does know what He is doing...even if we don't realize it at the time. It reminds of a Garth Brooks song. I'm not sure the exact name of it, but in the chorus he sings about thanking God for unanswered prayers. That is so true! It has been a very long and hard road for me to get to where I am today, but there is no way I would have changed it for anything! Thank you Lord, for everything you have given me. I am truly a blessed woman.