Friday, January 29, 2010
Bon Appetit
Little man is starting solids! After much debate on when I should start him on food(his Ped says 4mon is ok, the AAP recommends 6mon), I decided that since I started the other kids around the 5mon mark, he should too.
So, armed with cute new bowls and new baby spoons, I fed him Organic brown rice cereal mixed with breastmilk as his first food. I was going to let this first feeding show me if he really is ready for solids or not. Boy is he! He LOVED every single bite! He was even opening his mouth wide in anticipation! It was such a wonderful moment!
I have always fed my babies Gerber baby food, but a few years ago I decided that when we did have another baby I would make his baby food from scratch. I am so excited about making it for him! I'm going next week to buy my supplies and a highchair. We gave Emma's away, and he doesn't like reclining in his seat. Right now I'm feeding him while Josh holds him sitting up on his lap. But it gets a little messy pretty fast, and I don't think my husband appreciates Kellen's cereal all over his favorite pajama pants.
Next I'm planning on trying banana and avocado. Then probably sweet potato, apple, squash, and green bean. I'm really hoping I'll be able to find everything organic, as that is very important to me. I'm trying not to re-create whatever I did wrong with Emma's diet. She is my only picky eater. She was a great eater as a baby, but once she started really feeding herself, her stubbornness starting playing a bigger role. I'm hoping I won't have the same problem with Kellen, but I'm ensuring he gets the healthiest start possible, just in case.
It's so hard to believe he is already old enough for foods! I feel so blessed that he is getting so big after starting out so tiny. What a lucky mom I am!
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010
It looks like my pumping days are almost over, and not by choice. I planned on pumping for at least a year, with the hopes that Kellen might still latch on and nurse exclusively. Although it doesn't look like that will ever happen since he has been latching on less and less every day. Anyways, I have no problems continuing to pump since I wanted him to keep receiving breastmilk until he is at least one. But, lately I've been pumping less and less despite my efforts. When I went to the doctor yesterday for my colposcopy/biopsy results(normal, thank God), I asked her about this. Her advice was to drink plenty of water and pump more often, which I already have been trying. She said some women just dry up(especially when pumping). If after a few days, it still doesn't increase, then it is most likely not going to.
I'm trying to feel good about the fact that at least he has received my milk exclusively for almost 4 and 1/2 months, but it's still hard. I went to buy formula yesterday to supplement with a few bottles a day to help my milk go further(I still have a huge freezer stash), and I couldn't decide what to get. Nothing seemed good enough. I don't get it though. All my other kids were formula fed after nursing was unsuccessful, and only received breastmilk for the first month or so, why is it such a big deal for me now? They are all happy, very healthy, and very intelligent. I also think about how much easier my life will be not being attached to the pump. But, it's not about what is easier for me, but what is best for my baby. We all know breastmilk is best, even when from a bottle.
I need to stop with the Mother's guilt. It was not my choice that he arrive 6 weeks early. It was not my choice that he had a hard time latching on. It was not my choice that he stay in the hospital for the first five weeks of his life, and it was definitely not my choice that my milk supply has started decreasing. I have done all I can to give him the best start possible, and formula will help him continue to grow and thrive. Luckily, I still have about four months worth of milk in the freezer, so with supplementing a few bottles a day, I may have enough to last him quite awhile.
I am still pumping for most of his bottles throughout the day, and the more I attempt to nurse him, even if he doesn't, the more my body will be stimulated. But, no matter what happens I need to just realize that I gave 100% in doing what was best for my son from the very beginning, even if it does make me kind of sad to think of him getting "artifical milk".
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Mom's Torture Device
If any mom out there has ever exclusively pumped then you can understand how quickly a breast pump can become a torture device. Pumping breastmilk exclusively for your baby can quickly become emotionally, physically, and mentally draining. This usually isn't something a new mom chooses, but stumbles across due to chance or circumstance. For me it started with the premature birth of my son. Because he was in the NICU, I started pumping right away being unable to nurse him. It was tiring, but not too bad. I pumped round the clock in the hospital trying to get my milk to come in, and then once it did I got an amazing sense of accomplishment each time I walked those little bottles of my "liquid gold" down to the NICU to help nourish my tiny baby.
When I came home from the hospital and had to leave my baby behind, pumping was something that kept me emotionally close to him 24-7. It was the one thing I could do to help him get big and strong so he could come home. Over the course of the five weeks he was in the hospital, he started wanting to latch on to me less and less. He became so use to the bottle that it was just too taxing to nurse, and I didn't want him to wear himself out. I finally decided to give up on nursing(although I still try about once a day. Sometimes he will, sometimes he won't) and continue to pump. I've been able to feed him breastmilk exclusively for these past four months and even build a great freezer stash.
But lately I've been having a hard time pumping enough for his daily demands, and I usually have to thaw out one or two bags of frozen milk to make it through the day.
So yesterday I decided to have a pumping marathon! I was going to pump every two hours to see if I could increase my supply back up. I was doing great until early evening. I was about five minutes into pumping when I looked down and saw bright pink milk in the bottle on the left side. I freaked out, stopped pumping and noticed my nipple was bleeding! I was surprised, shocked, and a little grossed out. I put some lanolin on it, switched to a larger horn, and decided to give it a rest for the rest of the night.
I want to quit so bad, but I can't bring myself to do it. The thought of having to give him formula makes me sad. I feel so good about the fact that he is still receiving my milk, and I don't want to lose that! Every time I look at his sweet little rolls, I'm reminded that I did that!! With my provided nutrition he has been able to grow ansd thrive and barely resembles the tiny, scrawny baby he once was.
I guess I'll just take it one day at a time, and try not to be so hard on myself. The older he gets, the easier the pumping will be, and I have to remember that. After all, I can never get this time back and I want no regrets over anything. It's ok for me to hate it, because the amazing feeling I get when I feed him a bottle of my milk overshadows it completely. I won't have to pump forever, but the benefits of him receiving my milk will last a lifetime. That to me is worth it.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Check ups!
The little ones had their well-child visits yesterday, and I must say I feel so blessed to have such healthy kids!
After starting out so small, Kellen is gaining well! He is now up to 14lbs 4oz and is 24in long! He is in the 25th percentile for height and 50th for weight. He is rolling over and so close to laughing! A lot of the issues we were having with him being so fussy seem to be gone. He is such a happy and good-natured baby. He is still pretty much on only breastmilk, although if I have a low supply day he might end up needing one bottle of formula. But, thanks to my huge supply of frozen milk, that doesn't happen very often. Although I do look forward to the day I get to retire my pump!
Emma is going to end up being short like her mommy! She is weighing 30lbs and is 37in tall, putting her in the 10th percentile for both height and weight. The doctor predicted her height will end up being around 5'1" or 5'2". But she is so smart, and our only issues is her pickiness about her food. But the doctor said just keep offering, but don't push, and she should come around eventually. I sure hope so! I just hope Kellen doesn't end up being picky like her. I am planning on making his baby food myself, so hopefully that will help a bit. I can't believe how fast these kids are growing!
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